Tangled in a mess.
Okay, so, I’m going to reiterate a familiar situation of a Saturday night for a university or college student. You’re relishing in the fact that you’ve just turned nineteen, the legal drinking age in Ontario, Canada. To celebrate your legality, you gather up a group of your pals and head out to a swanky club downtown for a night full of rounds of tequila shots, cheap beer, drunken words and lastly, an super-intensified libido which ultimately leads to a casual “hook-up” with that fellow across from the bar whom you thought was eerily creepy just four drinks prior.
“Hooking up” was once a universal term used by many people as a way to initiate social interaction between two or more individuals in a platonic, non-sexual way. Presently, this term has taken a different turn and now represents something completely different. According to Urban Dictionary, “hook-up” is defined as:
A purposely ambiguous, equivocal word to describe almost any sexual action. Usually used to exaggerate or minimize what exactly happened. A hook-up can range from a make-out session to full out sex.
Now, a hook-up can happen differently too. It could be with one of your guy pals or a casual acquintance. Regardless though, of how the hook-up happened, it can have the same brutal consequences. Jennifer Roback Morse, author of the article “The Hook Up Culture: When Sex Becomes Sport”, delves deep into what “hooking up” means and the effects that a one-night stand can have on the individuals involved, particularily women.
It first begins with the “hook up mentality” in which sex is perceived as a casual recreational activity, a thing to do with the removal of emotions and personal ties. Hooking-up has even come to replace romantic relationships with friends-with-benefits more commonly referred to as “f*** buddies”. Hooking up is a large part of youth culture, specifically for teenagers and young adults. One can make the observation and conclude that teenagers and young adults are encouraged to hook up, and are praised by their peers when they do. Youth are pressured to seperate their feelings from sexual acts.
One problem though, is the ambiguity of the term. A girl can rant and brag about how she hooked up with this super hot guy the previous night, leaving the listener wondering what precisely she meant by “hooked up”. It can range from an innocent make-out session to full blown sexual intercourse for frick’s sake! This is an advantage for the person involved in the hook-up, they can disclose any amount of information they want, and in many cases, over-exaggerate the extent of the hook-up.
One cause for this, is the ever increasing sexualization of our society and culture through the media affecting our morals and behaviour. The presense of sex in advertisements whether they be in the form of pictures in magazine spreads or commercials. Simply put, sex is used to sell. An excellent example of this, is Calvin Klein, notoriously known for their racy and pushing the envelope advertisements featuring scantily clad models in jeans. Another medium where sex is praised about is in the music industry. It is inescapable.
From my personal experience, it is common and not at all surprising to hear of a friend or acquintance hooking up with someone, whether they know the other person or not. In these instances, I observe and wonder to which extent do hook-ups affect males and females differently. From what I’ve seen, the males that participate in hook-ups tend to carry less feeling and attachment to the act. I hear far more “I regretted/feel bad about hooking up with (person’s name)” from females than males. Almost every hook-up I’ve heard about from one of my female friends, they’ve admitted to regretting taking part regardless of whether alcohol was involved or not.
An explanation for this is the production of the chemical Oxycotin in the brain during sexual intercourse to promote feelings of connection and love. Males and females both produce this chemical, however due to the doses of testosterone produced by the male body, it surpresses the oxycotin.
All in all, people need to ask themselves whether or not a casual hook-up is a good idea. Sure, you might be caught up in the moment or tipsy from those darn tequila shots, but take a minute to think about how you’ll feel later on, and whether the person you’re with is really worth it (it is very common for guys post-hook-up to say that they will call or text, and never keeping to their word). Hook-ups can work for some people, but most of the time, this is not the case. Do yourself a favour and get cozy with someone who will stay at your apartment after a wild “hook-up” instead of making the awkward walk of shame at 7am.
Peace & love
Rach
Sources:
Barbara F. Meltz. ”Hooking Up is the Rage, but is it Healthy?” The Boston Globe, February 13th 2007.
Jennifer Roback Morse. “The Hook Up Culture: When Sex Becomes Sport”. September 16th 2003 <http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2003/0916morse.html>
Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hook+up
